Download , by Daphne De Marneffe
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, by Daphne De Marneffe
Download , by Daphne De Marneffe
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Product details
File Size: 2475 KB
Print Length: 369 pages
Publisher: Scribner (January 23, 2018)
Publication Date: January 23, 2018
Language: English
ASIN: B01N637OIO
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Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#245,400 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
Excellent book. Really inspirational for long-term couples and full of recommendations on how to build a stronger marriage. The best book I've read on the topic. There are times where it goes too deep into the details of psychological studies and these parts lost me, but overall a fantastic book to read for anyone who's had a great marriage for many years and is looking for ways to keep going for many more years!
I thought this was a slog to read. It jumped all over the place and made broad assertions throughout, without presenting evidence for those assertions.
You don’t need to be going though a rough patch to be able to glean the many intricacies of human relationships and learn from them and to be ready for the rough patch when it does happen. The very practical wisdom in this book not only introduces open individuals to a richer and more meaningful life with others, it does so with oneself; as one soon finds that essentially all relationships are about.
Very long chapters, had to take breaks reading, heavy lengthy material. Applicable.
Well written, clear, informative book about the problems of maintaining loving relationships and ways of considering what's going on when things are not going well. Highly recommend!
I so appreciate de Marneffe's thoughtful and compassionate book. She makes complex psychological theories about attachment and projection come alive with clear and concise prose. The book is fundamentally hopeful about couples' capacity to grow and evolve, and become more intimate, through the rough patch. But she doesn't offer pat solutions that are simplistic or formulaic. Nor does she judge couples that are, for a variety of reasons, not able to weather the rough patch.
The Rough PatchThe book certainly delivers what it promises – and delivers succinctly and in style.I learned a lot, and I enjoyed it. It is relate-able and enjoyable and as serious as its subjectrequires without being stuffy. It's a book that encourages and rewards reflection. I am sure that It will help me with my marriage.If I had to summarize the book in a few sentences they would be: Engagement is love, and stay engaged. Be grateful when marriage is easy but be ready for it to be hard. Even bad relationships are worth fighting for.The writing is strong and substantial on very nuanced topics, and I was amazed by how much ground was covered in a comparatively short book - and without taking any obvious shortcuts.The author speaks from and to both practice and theory, and overall it expresses hopefulness without offering easy solutions or minimizing the pain involved. To this rough patch adult, that mature perspective is essential. I wouldn't be interested in some kind of simplistic treatment in the "I'm Okay; You're Okay" or "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff.." vein.I also liked the book's structure. The chapter subjects and order worked for me. And I think it had a comfortable and very persuasive balance of life examples and "doctor in the house" exposition. Many of the topics resonated. I was especially struck by a story of a woman who almost tossed away her good marriage based on an intense and hyper-irrational infatuation. I could relate to her combination of heart-ache in her obsession, powerlessness in the face of her triggers, and self-loathing in understanding the wispy, insubstantial basis for her emotions.The book makes clear that the rough patch can be, at its worst, a time of true despair, and it takes some bravery to look directly at that. When you look at the simultaneous combination of resolution and sensitivity required to sustain long term marriage, it really is daunting. But the book presents a quiet and reassuring confidence - without being naive. I don't think a person much younger than the author, or in a different profession, or one who has never been a spouse & parent could have written it.I was especially impacted by the last chapter, and its theme of "love is the conversation; to converse is to love." I am a Californian writing this from Boston - I'm here with my aging mother for a few days - and after finishing this book, I had a deep urge to call my wife.
I bough this book hoping for advice on coping with the rough patch or at least insight into understanding it. I was disappointed on both counts. I'm not sure whom the book is aimed at. It's certainly not a self-help guide, because there are no suggestions on how to get through the rough patch. The writing style suggests it's aimed more at people with a background in psychology and psychoanalysis; or perhaps text such as "In adolescence, we start to weave our tastes, interests, and talents into a set of identifications and values and link them to larger social purposes" are more mainstream than I imagine."The Rough Patch" is a title that resonates with me, both because it sounds like what I'm experiencing and because it implies that it's temporary--that the way will eventually become smooth again. Unfortunately, the content fails to live up to the promise of the title. Having read the book, I don't think I understand the rough patch any better than before, nor did I glean any ideas on how to get it behind me (and my spouse) sooner instead of later.
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